Conversations With Teenage Boys
by Eliiizabeth
Summary: A one-shot future fic that I wrote the summer of '12. Our friends from PS 118 are riding home on the bus from Hillwood High. Arnold has a conversation with Harold, Sid, and Stinky about girls, and Helga eaves drops :)


Disclaimer: Hey Arnold, and all of the characters belong to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon. I am just borrowing them.

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Helga Pataki slumped down in her seat on the bus. She had had plans with Phoebe that Phoebe had forgotten about. This had been happening a lot since Phoebe started seeing Gerald. Helga had made a promise to herself a long time ago not to be so negative. She couldn't help, but be so at this point in time though. She was genuinely happy for Phoebe. Her and Gerald getting together had been somewhat of a long anticipated thing. If only Helga didn't get lost in the shuffle within the relationship.

"Hey Helga." A familiar voice greeted.

Helga snapped out of her daze. She looked up, and there he was. He was there staring down. Him in all of his football headed glory.

"Arnold!" She said stupidly. She quickly covered up, "Hey, Footballhead."

"Did you get stood up by Phoebe again?" He asked.

Helga scoffed, "Yeah, her and Geraldo are sure dedicated to turn sucking face into a fine art."

"That's for sure." Arnold chuckled.

They smiled at each other silently. This was it. At least she thought it might be it. Certainly he was waiting for her to offer him her seat. But then again, he could just be being nice just like he always is. His best friend was dating her best friend. It was an obligation to sit next to Helga… But then again he's standing here waiting, and he wouldn't be doing that if he didn't want to be. Helga concluded that he must want to sit with her.

"Well, I'm gonna go sit with the guys." Arnold said. "See you around."

Helga watched as Arnold walked a few seats behind her to sit with Stinky, Sid, and Harold. She began to mentally berate herself. Words such as: stupid, idiot, and moron began to flash in her mind. How could she not leap for the opening he was giving her? How many times did this have to happen before she finally got over her self-created barrier?

Her goal of being less cynical was completely obliterated within the five second block, in which Arnold walked away. Helga had been nice to Arnold, with the exception of good natured teasing, for a long time. He had to have positively known that she didn't hate him. Helga fumed in her bus seat. Why couldn't Arnold make it easier for everyone involved, and make his motives clear. If he had wanted to sit there why didn't he just do it? Unless of course it was that he felt obligated like she thought earlier… But, it couldn't be that right? What had Helga done to make him feel obligated to her.

Helga closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel her cyclic thoughts closing in, and that was not something she did not enjoy dwelling on. Dr. Bliss had taught her some breathing techniques to relax her. As Helga breathed, she could feel her thoughts fading away, and she slowly gained back composure.

"Hey look, there's Big Patty!" a hushed voice sniggered.

Helga was quickly brought out of her self-created trance. From her peripheral vision, she could see it was Sid.

"Sid, why do you still have to call her Big Patty?" Arnold sighed, "It's a cruel nickname. Besides, she's not big anymore."

Sid and Stinky sniggered.

"Arnold, it's not 'bout her weight, it's about her chest" Stinky laughed.

"Hey!" Harold shouted, "Stop talking about her like that."

Sid and Stinky began laughing again.

"Sorry Harold, I forgot she's your girlfriend." Sid said, patting Harold on the shoulder.

Harold grew red in the face, "She's not my girlfriend."

"Whatever you say." Stinky chuckled.

"That's still not very nice." Arnold added. "Her name is Patty. I mean, she's more than a chest. She's a person who deserves common decency."

Sid shook his head, "Well, Arnold you're the only guy who thinks that way."

"I reckon Arnold probably doesn't like girls." Stinky added.

"Of course I do." Arnold said matter of factly, "I just think school is really important right now. If I found the right girl, I'd go for it, but right now I'm content."

Stinky rolled his eyes. Sid propped his arms on the seat in front of him and rested his chin on his hands.

"They are all I think about." Sid declared. "And no offence Harald, Patty has the best rack of the whole school."

Harold rolled his eyes.

"I reckon Rhonda is the purtiest girl in the 'hole school though." Stinky said slightly dreamily.

A gleam suddenly shined through Sid's eye, "Hey Arnold." Sid said casually, "If you could hook up with any girl in school, who would it be?"

This brought Harold out of his pouting stupor and brought a gleam to Stinky's eye as well. Helga turned an ear so she could more clearly catch what they were saying. Helga had been trying to tune out this exceedingly primitive conversation, but even she wanted to hear this one.

Arnold laughed nervously, "I hardly see how that matters."

"It's probably Eugene." Harold whispered to Stinky and Sid.

With an exasperated sigh, Arnold turned towards the group of boys so his legs were in the aisle.

"Honestly, I haven't thought about it very much." He stated matter of factly.

"Oh come off it!" Sid exclaimed. "Everyone has."

"Well of course I have." Arnold rolled his eyes, "Just not anyone in school."

"Then who is it?" Sid asked.

Helga found herself craning her neck in such a way that she knew it would be sore the next day. She didn't care though. This was something she wanted to hear.

"Well, I think the new Yahoo Soda girl is very pretty." Arnold said.

The group of boys let out exasperated sighs, meanwhile, Helga let out a mini sigh of relief.

"Well duh, so does every guy in school." Sid said, "Now, what about girls our age who we know?"

Arnold sat back in his seat and laughed as he shook his head.

"Is it Nadine?" Stinky asked.

"What about Rhonda?" Sid added.

Arnold shook his head. Names began to be bulleted at Arnold. Sheena, Patty, Phoebe, Gloria the list went on. Helga held her breath when Lila came up.

"Lila is very nice, and pretty, but no." Arnold said.

"What about Helga?" Harold suggested.

"Harold, she's right there." Sid said in a hushed voice.

"Oh please, if she could hear us, she would have told us to can it a long time ago." Harold said without a doubt. "Hey Helga!" He taunted, "I heard you got out of running the mile in gym 'cuz your boobs were chafing you!"

Helga rolled her eyes at Harold's immaturity. Even if he was really trying to get her attention she would have still ignored him. What a maroon.

"See, told you she couldn't hear me." Harold said triumphantly.

"Her boobs were really chafing her?" Stinky asked.

"I dunno." Harold shrugged.

"I bet they would." Sid said, "She's got the second best rack after Patty."

Helga was slightly taken aback. Though she recognized the turn of this conversation was still barbaric like the rest of the talk on this bus ride, she couldn't help but feel slightly flattered.

"I reckon I'd get with her if she's have me." Stinky said.

"I think her uni-brow is kinda weird." Harold said.

"Who cares when she's got a rack like that?" Sid exclaimed as he cupped his hands in front of his chest.

"If only she wasn't so darn hostile I'd consider dating her." Stinky added.

"Yeah, not kidding. No one would want to get near here with that mouth… unless she was into getting gagged or something." Sid said devilishly.

With that Helga began to lose her patience. If this was the conversation the boys were going to have, she was going to have to put a sock in it.

"You guys are sick." Arnold shook his head. "Anyway, Helga's not that bad."

"Not to you." Harold scoffed.

"Yeah, Helga used to be really mean to you. What happened to that?" Sid asked.

"Beats me." Arnold said cooly.

"If only she'd lay off the rest of us." Sid said.

"I think Helga's got a lot on her plate. You know, with her dad losing his store and stuff." Arnold added.

"So," Sid said with eyebrows raised, "Would you hook up with her or what?"

The three boys stared expectantly at Arnold.

Arnold sighed, "What does hooking up even mean?"

"Making out, fucking or all of the above." Sid said.

"Fine, I'll level with you." Arnold chuckled. "I am by no means looking to hook up with Helga Pataki, but if circumstances were right, why not?"

The boys sniggered, and the bus came to a halt. They were at Helga's block. It took all of Helga's effort to not turn around and look at the boys. She could feel them watching her. She did make sure, though to hold her books in front of her chest. She'd be doing that more often except maybe when Arnold was around though.

Helga watched as the bus drove away. As soon as it was out of sight, she leaned against her stoop, and let a long sigh escape (author's note: I think you know the kind I'm talking about ;).)


End file.
